count your blessings…

a day to celebrate, to remember, to reflect on all that we have to be thankful for.

1. my family.
2. my fiance.
3. my friends…those i’ve had for life, those i’ve had for years, those i’ve had for months.
4. my job…one that both pays the bills and one that i truly enjoy.
5. those with whom i work…those you care for (and who care for you), those you respect (and who respect you), those you enjoy (and who enjoy you).
6. friends and (future) family with whom to share thanksgiving when so far from home and family.
7. health…and the health of those i love.
8. finances that have been bestowed to me…the finances with which i can afford a thanksgiving dinner.
9. love and support from those who truly care about me.
10. the love and grace god has bestowed on me.

and many more…

managers…and their style.

we’ve all had them–good or bad–and we’ve all learned something from them.
call it your supervisor, your boss, or your manager…we’ve either filed away something we would like to emulate or something we wouldn’t.
a situation where we would like to act accordingly or one we would dare not repeat.

i don’t know exactly what had us talking about them–these managers we either currently are in contact with and those of the past–but yesterday morning’s conversation seemed full of them.

• failing to do what is necessary to get the final paperwork handled…still not receiving the final paycheck. wondering if it’s slight of hand, vindication, or something else…but knowing whatever it is crosses legal bounds.
• recruiting out of their previous stores…the entire management team.
• recruiting in person while the worker is on the clock.
• leaving one in charge when they no longer serve in that role…i.e., taking advantage.
• making it very obvious who one likes and who one could care less for among the staff.
• truly caring about you, personally and professionally.
• seeing their role as a manager not involving folding the clothes.

and when we reunited last night after work, our conversation turned to the same…after the day’s events.

• freaking out when under stress…always a good retail-holiday combination.
• talking to associates at another store like you are their boss.
• not telling associates they are doing a good job for fear they will become complacent.
• yelling at a (new) associate in front of customers.
• refusing to open the door 3 minutes after closing for fear of a return…on the eve of thanksgiving (more likely someone actually needing something for the holiday, rather than cleaning out their house of unneeded items…on this particular night at least).

…interesting to note.

blindside.

how could i not like this movie?
true story.
true sports story.
true story starring nick saban, tommy tuberville, phillip fulmer, houston nutt, AND tim mcgraw.
true story about a kid down and out.
true story about someone stepping in, someone standing up, someone making a difference.
true story about life in the south, about college football, about all things familiar to me.
true story that will draw tears from even the hardest heart.

but what i liked most…the title.
the meaning of blindside.
the left tackle. the position. the job. the duty. the protection. the guardian.
guarding what is most important, the QB.
but much more…

guarding those closest to us.
guarding those in danger.
guarding those who need another’s protection.
guarding those who rely on us.
guarding those who can’t see what’s coming.
it’s their job, it’s their duty, it’s their calling.
it’s just what they do.

makes me realize we all need a left tackle…
we all need someone to cover our blindside.

what it takes…

i read a blog posting on harvardbusiness.org about managers–or was it about leaders? or more like the difference between.
the difference between those who inspire,
those who direct,
those who motivate,
those who hold others accountable,
those who innovate
versus
those who don’t,
those who simply get things done,
those who simply execute.

the posting focuses on…
inspiration.
inspiring others.
changing the behaviors of others through their own example.
empowering others.
connecting, supporting, coaching, and challenging.
direction.
knowing the current position, the future goal, and the plan to get there.
coordinating the team.
communicating expectations.
celebrating successes.

this posting called to mind two leaders that have made the most impact on me both professionally and personally.
both of whom inspire…
changing my behavior through their own example.
empowering me.
connecting, supporting, coaching, and challenging me.
both of whom direct…
knowing the current position, the future goal, and the plan to get there.
coordinating our team.
communicating the expectations.
celebrating our successes.

i only hope i am able to
inspire,
direct,
and lead…
as both tim and louis have led me.

a season.

a wise person once said something similar…

there is a season.
there is a season for everything…
for every feeling, for every action, for every behavior, for every attitude.
there is a season of fullness and one of emptiness.
there is a season of joy and one of sadness.
there is a season of relief and one of anxiety.
there is a season of hope and one of despair.
there is a season of having much and one of having little.

and in every season there is a time to reflect,
to cherish,
to focus on the little things,
to relish in the moment.

…for there are other seasons to be had.

best day off…

in awhile at least.
i’m not sure why louis offered.
maybe it was the inability to do simple math,
the incoherent and incomplete sentences,
the laughter that continued for 5 minutes…for no apparent reason.
maybe.

sleeping in until 8am.
runyon with fk…who claims he was scaling everest.

lunch at 25º.

2 hour nap.
watching tivo.
attending the CMAs in my own living room…and playing my fiddle along with the zac brown band [twice].

shhhhh.

don’t tell thomas that i came home and made his chocolate chip cookies–the ones he touts as the best he’s ever had…
and i think my own taste better.

entitled.

yesterday on my drive to work on the 405, through the streets of west la, and while running errands in santa monica, one word came to mind:

entitlement.

i’m not sure why that particular word or why on this particular day.
i’m not even sure this word defines the behavior i encountered.
but nonetheless, this is what came to mind.
entitled.
entitled to get somewhere…now.
entitled to cut you off.
entitled to get in that particular lane…regardless of the others already there.
entitled to get where i want when i want.
entitled to park wherever i want…regardless of the signs.
entitled to do what i want.
and it seems entitled without regards to others.

this whole sense of entitlement is a new discovery for me. it seems new to me, although i am sure i have been around it before and i am sure i have exhibited it’s behavior, but the pervasiveness of the attitude seems expansive.
and it seems suffocating.
i hate it.
it’s just not me.
…or is it?
it’s not what i want, how i want to be, or what i want to be around.
…but is it also who i have become?
i would like to think it’s la, it’s product of the industry, it’s the affluence of the westside…but i am sure it’s not simply concentrated there.
but i see it here…everywhere.
it seems i cannot escape it.
…and i just don’t want it to become me.

and other people share the same.
catching up on the news after i got home from work, i came across this article on taylor swift on the eve of the cma’s and her nominee for entertainer of the year.
see how she puts it:

“but my parents raised me to have the mindset that the world doesn’t owe me anything and you can’t feel entitled to winning, you can’t feel entitled to success.” ~taylor swift.

entitlement.
it’s not something taylor swift desires either…although i’m sure she desires the success and awards she speaks of.
it’s not something she feels she has earned or deserved simply by being in the industry, being privy to fame and fortune, or having her name known.
it’s just not.

and it’s just not what i desire either.

how far we’ve come.

i am in flight from atlanta to los angeles with no short of activities in which to engage.
my own personal screen.
my own options…
assorted movies in all types of genres,
hbo,
various tv stations,
a plethora of selected music depending on my musical taste,
games,
information about my particular flight,
AND free wi-fi (at least for me since i’m a first time user).
it seems the only thing not allowed is cell phone use.
…but i’m sure that won’t be long.

i remember when the only options were reading skymall and occasionally listening to music with the FREE headphones (which are only FREE today if you bring yours from home).

technology…
unbelievable.

common ground.

why must it be one way or the other?
why can’t we both be right…and both be wrong?
why can’t we seem to find common ground?
why can’t we just meet in the middle?
why do we both make assumptions without finding out the facts?
why do we assume our own viewpoint is the right one?
why can’t we show support and extend love towards one another?
why can’t we talk about it, communicate, listen, share?
why must it be so awkward?

will it always be this way…
or is there hope for something more, something better?