my florence nightingale.

i came home from work yesterday with a headache, which is a little abnormal since 99% of the headaches i have are due to blood sugar issues and resolve themselves after i have eaten. and since i had eaten half a bagel with peanut butter on the drive home, i determined this was not my typical headache…especially since in the 30 minute drive home my headache only seemed to amplify in intensity. i came home to my husband who couldn’t have been more attentive to my every need, to my every ache, to my every pain.

i do have the best husband…
the best husband who will sit beside me rubbing my head when i have an unbearable headache.
the best husband who runs after me to the bathroom when i feel it backing up in my throat.
the best husband who will stand over the toilet i am throwing up into, massaging my head with one hand and flushing the toilet with the other (so i don’t have to smell my own vomit), then grabbing tissue to wipe the vomit from my mouth.
the best husband who calls the nurseline to make sure he is following the necessary procedures, to make sure nothing serious is going on with me, and to do whatever he can to make me better.
the best husband who will continually put cold compresses on my head, just like the nurse said (and even before).
the best husband whose first question this morning when he woke up was, “how is my wife feeling?” when i had almost forgotten about last night…

he’s the best, i tell you.

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the new me.

here i am.

the new me.
the me with the new haircut.
the me with the pepto pink manicure/pedicure (which doesn’t quite show up in the above pic)…the me with the matching nail polish (think this might be the first time ever…).
the me with the new rings.
the me with the government issued new name.

the me with the new title.

the me that will turn a year older on saturday…the same day i will celebrate being married for exactly one month.

there is a whole lot of newness going on…

4 weeks.

it’s been 4 weeks. 4 weeks from today. 4 saturdays past, we were married.
…and now, we are married.
it seems like so long ago, in some regards.
it seems like so much has happened in the meantime.
it seems like i have so much to say here, yet not so.
it seems like so much time hasn’t passed since i last blogged, but it has.

i am not sure what i thought about being married before actually being so, but i might say it is different than what i had imagined it to be. i am sure this is just a precursor of what is to come…seeing how i have very limited experience thus far. i mean i love it, really i do…but it has been more of an adjustment than i thought it would be.
but i guess what i mean by that is this…

there are skeletons.
there are skeletons in everyone’s closet.
there are skeletons in everyone’s closet that you can choose to disclose–or not–at will.
we all have them.
we all share them–or one or two of them–with those closest to us at some vulnerable moment.
but what i have already realized in these 4 short weeks is that it is hard to hide the skeletons in your closet when you now share a closet with another. maybe this is a no-brainer, but not for me. i guess i thought i could keep those skeletons tucked away nice and neat and choose when to reveal them to my now betrothed…not so much. it seems these skeletons now choose when to surface…which i guess is what they have always done but i have had no one sharing the closet so i could stuff them back in and shut the door real quick before anyone would notice too much disturbance. until now…

marriage is about sharing. it is about sharing your life with another…even those darn skeletons, even when you’re not “ready” to share, even when we don’t want to admit what is plainly seen. it seems now i just might not have so much control as i once thought–as if–of my life, in general, and my skeletons, in particular. marriage is about taking the whole of a person as they are–the good, the bad, and the ugly–and loving, accepting, and supporting them as they are (in case i didn’t make that point clear enough)…not how we would want them to be, or even how we would like to be. it is about allowing the other to love, accept, and support you–often, in spite of yourself.

maybe i should have realized all of this…maybe.
or maybe this is just one of the many mysteries of marriage…that have yet to be discovered by me and my betrothed. i look forward to discovering them all with him, in due time…