isn’t it ironic?

IMG_0243the irony.

the irony of this being the happiest time of your life…and one of the most stressful.

the irony of this being the time when your new life together is just beginning…and being surrounded by several close friends who find themselves in the ending stages of the life they have known together.

the irony of sharing these moments alongside those with whom you are the closest…and those with whom you are closest couldn’t be further away.

the irony of the bliss…followed quickly by the frustration, miscommunication(s), lack of perspective, the emotional highs/lows, the inevitable arguments, all leading back to the bliss.

the irony of spending all your free time, energy, time together, time apart focused on just a day, albeit an important one…rather than a lifetime, a future.

oh the irony…


the planning.

the planning.
no big deal.
i’m not sure why people thinking planning a wedding is such a big deal.
it’s 6 months away…plenty of time.
less than 6 months now…and 10 states, 2 time zones away.
so, on some days, it’s not a big deal.
on others, it is quite the opposite.
it’s not as if the planning is all that hard–or the hardest–but the most difficult is being so far away from my family with whom i want to share every moment, every detail, every plan, every question, every question seeking an answer.
so the most difficult part is definitely the distance that separates myself and those i love the most.

despite the distance, the plans seem to be falling into place.

the date: set.
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venue: set.

save the dates: done.
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picking out invitations: flipping through endless pages, looking at countless sites online…now waiting for pricing, that is, until i see another i might possibly like.
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list: made, various stickies on my desktop.
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photographer: one down, another pending. double booked to unhooked. as it turned out, this dilemma simply provided an opportunity for me to take a look to see what else was available…and this is what i found.

dress: a constant (and some days a rather emotional one) work in progress. after two failed attempts (of course i was double booked for the second day in a row) to try on what i thought to be the perfect dress, i have decided to look elsewhere…although i am not exactly sure where else to look. this task seems so daunting that i think i will put it off just a little longer. but the guys are handled.
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florist, musician: handled by my entourage in montgomery.
caterer, wedding coordinator, guest list, and all the other minor details:
in the works…

it’s official…

it’s officially been almost a month, actually.
almost a month since FK traveled to bama to meet the folks.
almost a month since FK–surprisingly–popped the question.
almost a month since i–who didn’t think he was serious–finally answered, yes.

so, it’s official.
there was the asking of parental blessing (2 months prior via telephone).
there was the asking of me to meet him at the gazebo (the place where my grandmother had gotten married 3 years ago).
there was the saying we needed to talk (which kind of freaked me out, thinking he had waited until we had traveled all the way from california to alabama to have some serious conversation…which i was certain would end up in an argument).
there was the kneeling down, to which all i could say repeatedly was, “WHAT are you doing? what ARE you doing? what are YOU doing? what are you DOING?”
there was the taking of my hand, presenting the box, putting the ring on my finger, asking for my hand in marriage.
there was the next repeated response of: “are you serious? are you serious? are you serious?”
there was the long pause, where he waited.
there was him speaking up, asking me for an answer…there was me still in shock to give a reply.
there was a “YES!! of course.”

and now it’s officially in print.

it’s been time.

it’s been awhile. it’s been a long while.
it’s been a necessary break–one my emotions needed, one the disconnect did me good. it’s been a necessary one for me to realize i need this. i need a space. i need to communicate. i need to process what is going on…even if it is in a public space.

and i think it’s time…
it’s been time for new beginnings.
it’s been time for fresh starts.

and with that, i think i’ll start again….