shortcomings.

it seems i am well aware of my shortcomings these days…or maybe i should be more aware. just a few days ago it seems i had a problem at work. it is called being a jerk. i am not sure why but i just was. for two days straight, i became frustrated at everything, really. and one person i work with just couldn’t win for losing. call it my nemesis, call it i have issues, call it i need to get a grip on myself. so i spent one whole night crying. crying because of my attitude, my words, my actions, and my jerkiness. and the ironic thing is i realized it that morning and subsequently wrote a blog about seeing what other’s bring to the table…somehow i just couldn’t get over myself and my issues and see it. i cried that morning, seeing my own self as i truly am…and i cried that night for the same reason. for the reason that i still couldn’t get over myself, that i still couldn’t act like a human being, that i still couldn’t put others above myself, that i still couldn’t learn humbly,
that i still could act like such a jerk…

When you own up to your own shortcomings, the fear of whatever you are guarding is released. Apology frees you from the burden of whatever you have in your past.
~David Edmonson, former CEO of RadioShack, in Chief Executive

so maybe i should admit my shortcomings.
maybe i should think about what it is i am hiding, or what fear it is i am masking.
maybe i should let the skeletons out of my closet and get rid of the past…past fears, past experiences, past failures, past dreams, and past hauntings…
and live with my own shortcomings.

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