his story.

why do we take things personally?
why do we read into the situation?
why do we assume what someone did or did not say?
why do we seek so hard the approval of others?
why do we want things to be wrapped up nicely, tied with a bow?

i made some off-handed comment to craig today who responded by saying that i was only a secondary character in his story. really…because i totally thought i was the main character in his short story.
i’m only kidding.
but it was something to contemplate.
his story. his life. it’s about him. sure, there are other facets, other people, other relationships, other dynamics…but it is about him.

it is about how he handles the situations.
it is about how he responds to other people.
it is about how he controls the part he can of the relationships he has.
it is about the outcome he desires…and working towards that outcome.
it is about self-empowerment.
it is about taking control.
it is about making the best of what you have been given, or where you find yourself.

and i’m only secondary.
my opinion or view doesn’t matter much…only as much as he allows it.
…only as much control as he allows it to have.
circumstances only dictate his present or his future as he determines…how small or large is up to him.
the past is the past…so get over it.

and i am not the main player in his game, the main character in his story.
no one is.
only he is primary.
only he controls the outcome.
only he determines the present…and the future.
only he can approve himself, only he can validate himself.
only he can choose whether or not he will take it personally…whether he will let me (or another) dictate his response.
only he can be in charge.

there is no room for me to be COA; it is his story.
and in his story, there is only room for one thing…secondary roles.