4 weeks.

it’s been 4 weeks. 4 weeks from today. 4 saturdays past, we were married.
…and now, we are married.
it seems like so long ago, in some regards.
it seems like so much has happened in the meantime.
it seems like i have so much to say here, yet not so.
it seems like so much time hasn’t passed since i last blogged, but it has.

i am not sure what i thought about being married before actually being so, but i might say it is different than what i had imagined it to be. i am sure this is just a precursor of what is to come…seeing how i have very limited experience thus far. i mean i love it, really i do…but it has been more of an adjustment than i thought it would be.
but i guess what i mean by that is this…

there are skeletons.
there are skeletons in everyone’s closet.
there are skeletons in everyone’s closet that you can choose to disclose–or not–at will.
we all have them.
we all share them–or one or two of them–with those closest to us at some vulnerable moment.
but what i have already realized in these 4 short weeks is that it is hard to hide the skeletons in your closet when you now share a closet with another. maybe this is a no-brainer, but not for me. i guess i thought i could keep those skeletons tucked away nice and neat and choose when to reveal them to my now betrothed…not so much. it seems these skeletons now choose when to surface…which i guess is what they have always done but i have had no one sharing the closet so i could stuff them back in and shut the door real quick before anyone would notice too much disturbance. until now…

marriage is about sharing. it is about sharing your life with another…even those darn skeletons, even when you’re not “ready” to share, even when we don’t want to admit what is plainly seen. it seems now i just might not have so much control as i once thought–as if–of my life, in general, and my skeletons, in particular. marriage is about taking the whole of a person as they are–the good, the bad, and the ugly–and loving, accepting, and supporting them as they are (in case i didn’t make that point clear enough)…not how we would want them to be, or even how we would like to be. it is about allowing the other to love, accept, and support you–often, in spite of yourself.

maybe i should have realized all of this…maybe.
or maybe this is just one of the many mysteries of marriage…that have yet to be discovered by me and my betrothed. i look forward to discovering them all with him, in due time…

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