it was good.

it was good to have people so familiar around.
it was good to have someone around all the time.
it was good to have someone with which to eat meals, to explore, to spend time, to just be.
it was good to have someone with whom to laugh, to talk, to listen.

it was good to have a break…
a break from normal life.
a break from work.
a break from stressful situations.
a break from my own thoughts, attitudes, emotions.
a break from my loneliness.
a break from decisions to be made.
a break from schedules.
a break from pressure and expectations that i place on myself.

…and an opportunity just to be myself.

in case it isn’t so apparent, i must admit that i have had a hard time lately.
a hard time being me and accepting all that is going on around me.
i have become somewhat numb to all of it…i guess in order to cope.
i have withdrawn–to an extent–in holding people at arm’s length…yet i have, at the same time, reached out–albeit in a somewhat surface fashion.
i have felt alone.
i have been emotional…and for no reason, at times, it seems.
i have been more frustrated.
i have been stressed and felt like i am carrying more than needed.

yet, at the same time, i have tried to accept, to cope, to live with it…
but it was good to get away, even if i was still here.
i feel different.
i feel refreshed.
i feel like i am more able to cope,
to see things anew,
and to accept things as they are.
and even though i find things are much the same…
it is good.

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