another discovery.

another thing i have discovered about myself is that i am emotional…
no kidding, right?
being emotional isn’t all bad…except when you allow yourself to get blown and tossed by your emotions, and subsequently led by them. it isn’t bad to factor in such emotions, but when you become tied to them and unable to make a decision removed from them, it can pose problems.

i’m fine with who i am…to an extent.

as i was talking to a friend on the phone yesterday, i realized that lately i have been led by my emotions. i have allowed them to dictate what i think, how i feel, how i respond, how i act, and what i say. i have felt tossed about by whatever emotional wave has come my way…leaving me lost at sea and feeling like i’m drowning. it’s not a pleasant feeling…drowning in one’s own emotions, that is.

and i’ve decided i get this way when i am stressed,
when all i see are unknowns,
when i am insecure,
when i feel tension all around me,
when i cannot make sense of my surroundings,
when i fail to take control.
and it seems that all of these are related. the stress and unknown lead to insecurity and loss of control…yada, yada, yada.

i want to be different.
i want to embrace who i am without succumbing to something i am not.
i want to be free.
i want to live in today, without worry for tomorrow…or things to come.
i want to enjoy where i am.
i want to focus on what i can control…and leave the rest for another.
i want to chill-lax.
i want to be grateful for the blessings–large and small–surrounding me.
i want to focus on the positive.
i want to have a healthy view of life, who i am, and the circumstances around me…making me, in turn, healthy.

i want to live…
without abandon.
free.
unhindered and unchained.
without masks.
happy and full of joy.
without fear.
embracing who i am.

4 thoughts on “another discovery.

  1. I want shopping with my cousin and we saw this shirt that is my new motto for holiday…”Frosty (the Snowman) says, ‘you gots to chill!'” So whenever I feel stress or out of control I think of this and it makes me laugh. Hope it can do the same for you. Miss you lots

  2. “Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
    I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
    When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
    When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
    When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
    it won’t be a dead end—
    Because I am God, your personal God,
    The Holy of Israel, your Savior. (The Message – Isaiah 43:1-3)

    Believe this and trade your anxiety for His peace, knowing that He is in control of all the things you can’t control…and live the abundant life Jesus talked about!! I love you.

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