what i do…
does it define me?
does it determine who i am?
does it reflect my values, my meaning, my desires, my drives?
does it determine those same?
is it all i am?
am i more?
…please tell me i am.
can others classify by this factor?
or is it just part of the whole?
and what if another disagrees…
does it matter?
should i take it personally?
should i allow it to affect me?
do i get defensive, do i pull away, do i put my guard up, do i allow my feelings to get hurt, do i get offended, do i overlook it, do i accept it, do i question, do i give them the benefit of the doubt?
and why does it matter…
i guess it matters because i want others to validate me.
i want others to accept who i am, including what i do.
i want approval. i want acceptance. i want support.
i want others to know it is not who i am–not with all their preconceived notions, their assumptions, their judgments, their perceptions, their opinions–or not all that i am.
i am more.
i am more than what meets the eye.
i am more than how i spend 40 hours a week.
and there’s a reason–a very valid one, as i see it–for doing what i do, for spending my time how i do, for giving my energy to something i feel is valid.
i am more.
i am more than my actions. there is a drive within. there is a spirit that longs, that groans, that drives. there is more.
and there is some ache within that wants others to know that, to accept that, and to value that.
and i want to do that…to know that about others, to accept that within them, and to value all that they are–not just part, but the whole.