i’ve done a lot of thinking these past few days.
i’ve done some centering.
i’ve deciphered what i want from what i perceive others want for me.
i’ve thought about what is negotiable and what is not.
i’ve made some decisions.
i’ve thought about what’s worth fighting for…and i’ve always said (in reference to men and women) that when a man knows what he wants, he is willing to go after it.
there are some things i just can’t shake…
despite the present circumstances, despite the movement around me, despite what i can or cannot see occurring in the future.
i must have hope in something other than what i can immediately see, i must have faith that god does not withhold good things, i must have trust that things will work out for the best…for my best.
and just like mr. darcy, i’ve got to work for that which i desire, that which i know not the end result, that which is my dream–be it romantic or realistic, and that which is worth the risk, the perseverance, and the fight.
i’ve decided not to give up on the dream.
i’ve decided not to be deterred.
i’ve decided not to lose hope, faith, or trust.
i’ve decided not to give up, nor become discouraged at the appearance of closed doors.
i’ve decided to learn all i can, to be serious about my pursuits, and to make my ambitions known.
then, i’ll know that i have done all i can to make my romantic dream a reality.
and if it doesn’t come to fruition, then i can resolve:
that it just wasn’t meant to be,
something better awaits me,
and everything happens for a reason.
but until then, i will tuck those cliches in my back pocket and walk on in pursuit of the dream.