locked in.

imagesthe divine bell and the butterfly.
after seeing that many of us had not seen the film in class on monday, barry just happened to have a copy with him.
yet again, i had no idea what i was getting into (kind of like in bruges).
it is a story told from a unique perspective, seeing the story from the writer’s one good eye, through his memory and in his imagination.

and as a stroke victim, jean-do bauby is left paralyzed and unable to speak…unable to communicate at all.
but he tries.
he tries to talk to the doctors when he first wakes up from being in a coma for 3 weeks.
he tries to communicate his feelings, his thoughts, his desires, his wants.
…and does to us, the audience, who is in his mind, in a sense.
and he finally learns to do so through the painful task of blinking every letter of every word to those patient enough to “translate.”
images1 images2 images images4
but as i watched it, i wondered what it would be like…
what would it be like to be locked inside yourself?
what would it be like to look in the mirror, showing you what you are now and what you can no longer do?
what would it be like to be left with only your memory and imagination as your sole means of escape?
what would it be like to be locked in your body…or in your own home?
what would it be like to know certain people, people whom you deeply care about, could not come see you “in that condition”?
what would it be like to think of believing in miracles as “risky business”?
what would it be like to mistake singing for uttering your last breathe?
what would it be like to view your life “like a sailor watching the shore fade away, i watch my past recede and the memories burning”?
what would it be like to live until your story is fully told?

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